I realized today that much of life is just interpretation.
I spent the afternoon at a movie. I treated myself. Not only to the show but also to the $5.75 small popcorn that accompanied it. In the interest of watching something light and entertaining I decided on “He’s Just Not That Into You.”
It wasn’t until I was in line at the theater that I realized what I was doing. It is Valentines Day and I am going to a movie, by myself…and not just any movie but, “He’s Just Not That Into You.” Wow. Pathetic?
But here is the real story.
It’s not pathetic. Not even kind of. The truth is, I had a wonderful afternoon. Even though I fundamentally disagree with the entire concept of the movie, I enjoyed it on a completely non-life-changing level. I got out of the movie and decided to walk the two miles home instead of taking the train. On the way home I talked to my parents and enjoyed the beautiful day.
When you don’t know any better, the day does seem pathetic. But the reality is, the afternoon didn’t materialize out of self-pity or loneliness, it occurred out of the desire to get out of the house and treat myself to something I don’t normally get to do. And the fact that it was Valentine’s Day? A happy coincidence.
And so I begin looking at the other interpretations in my life.
I graduated from college and moved to New York City. I am doing what many young idealists would love to do, working for an organization in which I truly believe. Wow. Perfect?
But here is the real story.
It’s not perfect, not even kind of. The truth is, it’s hard. I have realized that though I work for an organization, in which I truly believe, I am not good at it. Don’t get me wrong, I get my work done and I get it done well, but I am not really suited for it. Inventory systems and spreadsheets and thousands of handbags and mismatched pottery…. It’s not all my cup of tea.
When you don’t know any better, my life seems perfect. But the reality is, its not. But the rest of that reality is: that is okay. I may not be where I want to be a year from now, but I am on my way there. I may not even know where I want to be a year from now, but I am on my way there. The people I am meeting, the things I am learning, the experiences I am having, they are all why I am here. I am not here for perfect. I am here for growth. And that, I am sure, is happening.
I may not be well suited for it, but when I go to work, I ensure that women all over the world are treated with dignity in at least one aspect of their lives. I help to ensure education for their children or their siblings. I help to provide them with a means to put food on their table or a roof over their heads. I may not be perfectly suited for it, but it matters.
When it comes to the interpretation of my life, there are any number of versions to choose from. But what matters is that I am just where I am supposed to be. I am tending to the parts of me that need tending to and I am cultivating relationships that I choose to. Nothing about it is pathetic and nothing about it is perfect. But I will keep it just the same.
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Cant Go Back Now- The Weepies
Yesterday when you were young
Everything you needed done was done for you
Now you do it on your own
But you find you're all alone, what can you do?
You and me walk on, walk on, walk on
'Cause you can't go back now
You know there will be days
When you're so tired
That you can't take another step
The night will have no stars
And you'll think you've gone as far
As you will ever get
You and me walk on, walk on, walk on
'Cause you can't go back now
And yeah, yeah, you go where you want to go
Yeah, yeah, be what you want to be
If you ever turn around, you'll see me
I can't really say
Why everybody wishes they were somewhere else
But in the end, the only steps that matter
Are the ones you take all by yourself
You and me walk on, walk on, walk on
Yeah, you and me walk on, walk on, walk on
'Cause you can't go back now
Walk on, walk on, walk on
You can't go back now
