Childlike Wildlike

On the day I turned 22, I spent the afternoon in Old Town Sqaure, Prague and the evening with new friends, exploring the nightlife of one of the most beautiful cities in the world.

On the day I turned 23, I spent the day at work, doing a job that I fully believe is making a difference to someone in the world and spent the night with new friends in New York City, walking through Times Square and exploring the nightlife in the city they call, "the center of the universe."

Sometimes my life overwhelms me, in the best possible way.

But I could do without this 178% humidity. I could do without my towel still being damp 48 hours after I last showered and I could do without the condensation on any item taken out of the refrigerator.

On Tuesday, the roommates and I had a day of forced introspection at an Enneagram personality type workshop. And though I am a skeptic who puts a lot of faith in reliability and validity, (neither of which this "test" has) I can see the potential good that could come out of taking a look at who we are and who one another are. The way I deal with things is not going to be the same way everyone in the house does, and knowing where they are coming from can be a valuable tool for this whole "community building" thing.

Now, forced introspection isnt my favorite thing in the world, but I have to admit, there were a few realizations I had.
1) Even though I wish that I was a person who used her heart for decision making purposes, I'm not.
2) Thinking gets me far in life, and sometimes gets me in trouble.
3) Ask me what I feel, I will tell you what I think.
4) Turns out I am a "5."

Wonderful, I am a "5," what does that mean? Well, you see, it means that though I like to think of myself as a person who uses her heart for those decision making purposes, I actually use my head. According to the typography, I am mentally alert, good at observing, have generally modest needs, independent, yet detached, a good listener, non-critical, gentle, introverted and private, and when I feel safe I can be expressive, friendly and talkitive... But then on the other hand, for most "5's" privacy can turn to lonliness, feelings are disconnected to thoughts, they can be stingy with emotions, and are often frightened of center stage and more than anything, a "5" hates the feeling of foolishness.

And I sit here, still a skeptic, but I have to admit, that typography just described me in a nutshell.
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Today is my first real day off in over two weeks. I didnt know I had it in me to be such a workaholic, or that I could work 100 hours in two weeks and still be a happy person.

A large reason in why I took this position was because of the potential connections that it could make me and the obvious valuable experience. Last weekend, while working 18 hours in two days, I saw this beginning to materialize in front of me. I headed up my first sale, I spoke in front of hundreds of people about the mission of HCJ and we sold over $5,000 worth of goods. And furthering the success of the weekend, the nuns who helped us were fabulous. They spoiled us rotten, making sure that we were well taken care of...and they happen to work for an NGO at the UN. I may have worked 18 hours and been exhasusted by the end of Sunday, but I now have the cell phone number of a woman who is expecting me to come visit her at the UN, who has promised to introduce me to others and who assured me she would get me a badge to get into the Commission on the Status of Women.

I'd say it was worth the 18 hour work weekend.

So, after my one little day off, I go into another work week tomorrow. I dont mind.

And as for my 23rd year, it was more than I ever could have imagined.

And as for my 24th? Already, I know it holds extraordinary things, and I cant wait to see what they are.

"Not for Nothing"

To my delight, ginger ale is everywhere here. In every restaurant, every coffee shop, every newsstand, there is ginger ale. It is wonderful.

Also, they drink their coffee with milk here, not creamer. Not that it matters, I am making the transition to black coffee as we speak.

I had my first minor bout of homesickness this last week, brought on by the frustrations that come with living in community with 6 other people. Luckily my wonderful mother helped me troubleshoot the situation and things have been much smoother since then.

I am learning to appreciate weekends on a whole new level these days. The word “weekend” has a totally different meaning to it when it doesn’t mean writing papers or studying for tests. I can shift my night’s sleep to 4am-Noon and not feel guilty for not getting things done. And after all, this is the city that never sleeps, and while I have to, why not do it all morning and be up all night??

I visited the Met this weekend, for the second time since arriving in this city. This time, I was able to see the things that I really wanted to see, the modern European paintings. I spent almost 2 hours in one section of the sprawling labyrinth of a museum, on my own, and simply happy. Monet, Van Gogh, Manet and Cezanne just have a way…

While at the Bohemian Beer Garden on Friday night I was posed with a question by an outwardly conservative man who was trying to play wingman to his friend, and obviously failing: What is one way that the presidency of George W. Bush has negatively affected me, personally? And while I am more than willing to have a political discussion with someone who has differing views than my own, there were a few things stopping me,
1) I was not at the beer garden to talk politics
2) I typically don’t have these “conversations” with men who are raising their voices and standing threateningly above me.
So, instead if stating one of the many ways in which GWB has impacted my life (Beginning, but not necessarily ending with policies concerning higher education and a job market arguably at its worst since the depression,) I instead said to him, “You see, that’s the difference between you and me. For me, just seeing the negative impacts on those who haven’t been given the opportunities I have is enough.”
I am not sure what kind of response this rising republican broker was expecting in NYC…its not as though there is much of a GOP stronghold here.

Anyhow, continuing in the spirit of those not given the opportunities I have, I attended a 9/11 Unity walk on Sunday evening from Battery Park to Ground Zero. This was put on by an organization called Religions for Peace and brought together religious leaders from across the board. The mission statement for this walk was,
“We walk together as neighbors from many faiths and cultures. We gather in peace to demonstrate our unity, recalling the spirit of togetherness that grew out of 9/11. We commemorate this day because concern for each other’s welfare is the shared hope of us all.”
It was a fascinating experience for me. The religious leaders not only had the opportunity to share their thoughts, but many chose to share with us their traditions and prayers. It was truly a unifying experience, remembering such a tragedy in communion with so many of so many faiths and cultures.

If there is one thing I learned this week it is that remembering 9/11 here in the city is not something that a unity walk is needed for. All week there was a definite presence of helicopters patrolling the skies and on Thursday every single soul seemed acutely aware of the importance of the day. For me, having not been in the city on that day 7 years ago, I felt as though I was an intruder. I saw an entire city remembering and grieving that, which was lost to them that day, and here I am, witnessing something that seems deeply personal to them. I felt honored, but out of place, nonetheless.

And then I went to work on Monday morning to continue my awareness of those without privilege, living in marginalized circumstances, and I was assured again that there are many who don’t have what I do. Therefore, I will continue to work beside them, if not literally, then in my heart and in all of my daily actions.

Joan is my Favorite

This week's #1 moment:

Setting the stage:
Sitting at lunch at HCJ with the rest of the ladies, including Joan, our finance person, who has got to be about 80 years old.

Act 1:

Karen: Did you hear that Sarah Palin has petitioned to keep the polar bears off the endangered species list?

All: Why?

Karen: Well because if they are on the list then their habitat is protected and if their habitat is protected then they cant drill for oil there.

All: Ahhh....

Joan: You know, in the Inuit tradition when a person gets really old they put them on a floating piece of ice and send them off into the ocean to die....I think that's really cruel.

(General agreement is reached that that is a rather cruel way to get rid of the old people)

Joan:...But I would but Sarah Palin on one of those...But I would give her food!

Grounding Myself

Three and a half weeks feels like a lifetime. I feel as though I have been here forever.

I don’t know why people complain that the New York subway is so hard,.. it
speaks English, after all. I don’t have to try to decipher muffled Czech, which is always a plus.

This weekend our friends who are volunteering in New Jersey came to visit for the weekend. On Friday night we made our way to a karaoke bar where the drinks started at $8 and Hannah and I continued with an excellent rendition of RENT’s “Take Me or Leave Me.” And on the way home, a different Hanna (of the hurricane sort) made for a wet trek to the subway. It was an adventure though, which I will never say no to.


And work, psh…piece of cake.

Okay, that’s not totally true…but it makes it no less enjoyable.

Also this past weekend I had the opportunity to attend my first parish sale with HandCrafting Justice. It was only a few block away from where we live, which really didn’t matter when walking through the rain that Hurricane Hanna brought us…you were just as soaked after walking one block as three…Regardless, the sale gave me an opportunity to put what I do everyday in perspective. It allowed me to see other people as excited about the products as I am and as I was taking their money from them, it was satisfying to know where that money goes to, and who it benefits, because it’s not me…but there are women in 20 countries who it does benefit.

To add to my perspective and HCJ experience, I had another outstanding opportunity this week to go to Fordham University to present to a Global Governance course on what we are and what we do at HCJ. It was an odd experience to walk into the building not as a student, but as a presenter, not as their peer, but as someone who had something to offer them and their education. For this course the students have a community service requirement and while we only have the capacity to deal with two weekly volunteers, there were more who wanted to be with us. I ended up with two women who are so excited about what we do and enthusiastic to help. Just like the sale, it was good for me to find other people who are excited about what I do as I am…

Some days, when I am sitting in my office, on the phone with the wholesale director in New Hampshire trying to figure out where the shipment from Indonesia ended up or when I am e-mailing Thailand to ask why we only got 143 of the 153 boxes of pottery, I feel like such a big kid. When people ask me if living with 6 other people in the convent makes for life just like college, I have to say, “No, not even close.” We each work 40 hrs a week at grueling jobs and only receive a small stipend for all of our work. I don’t worry about homework and I do worry if the invoice from Madagascar has been approved so that those women can buy dinner for their family. This isn’t college.

Community life is already interesting, which it was bound to be.

The city has continued to entertain me. Besides karaoke, I have made my way around to a few places. On Labor day, I went to the Met and saw the last day of the Super Heroes exhibit, which was fascinating, even for a non-super hero fan. Due to the fact that I was with three other people and simply due to the sheer size of the Met, I didn’t even get to see the section of European paintings that I wanted to, but it only gives me an excuse to go back.

I have also wandered around Alphabet City (the setting of RENT), gone to a show for a friend’s band in the Lower East Side, went to the Caribbean Festival in Brooklyn and begun to explore my home base of Astoria a bit more. I have seen Times Square both during the day and at night, yet don’t ever feel the need to go back.

The good news: I don’t think I will have a problem occupying myself for the next year.