The Tao of the Uncertain

.002

Is There More to Life Than a Good Bottle of Merlot?

I understand what is so intoxicating about the city. Even beyond the fact that it is socially acceptable to order alcohol at any meal, the city makes it easy to be drunk, figuratively, with free flowing ideas, politics, trends, and philosophies.

In the beginning of my time here I fell victim to this drunkenness (of the figurative variety, of course). In a friend’s apartment in the Upper East Side we would sit with our bottle(s) of red wine, a block of Gouda cheese and spend the night philosophizing, and ranting about the downfall of American culture and politics. It was intoxicating.

I thought to myself, “This is what I have been missing in my life.”

Throughout my life I have had good friends with whom I had many good conversations but in comparison to this they all seemed childish. This was “grown up.” Here, we would solve all of the world’s problems with our bottle of wine and large vocabularies.

I would estimate that about 80% of the young people I have met here are from the Midwest. In getting to know many of them, I have come to realize there is one crucial difference between them and I… They left. I came. For them, New York is about escaping where they came from and this intoxication that is so easily found on every street corner makes it easy. You can get lost in the free flowing ideas, politics, trends and philosophies. But for me, I came. I came here for an opportunity, not an escape. I’m not trying to create myself; I am trying to be myself.

At some point during the year, I realized that maybe these free flowing ideas and late nights of philosophizing were something I was missing in my life. However, partaking makes me no more “grown up” than I would be at home riding my bike to a brewery and laughing hysterically when someone falls on their ass. These nights and conversations can be valuable in my life, but a balance between serious conversation and laughing with playful abandon is not only an ideal, it is a necessity.

So now, I must find a way to be drunk not only on wine and philosophy, but in the playful joy that we are so graciously gifted.

What makes you drunk?

Be Drunk

You have to be always drunk. That's all there is to it--it's the
only way. So as not to feel the horrible burden of time that breaks
your back and bends you to the earth, you have to be continually
drunk.
But on what? Wine, poetry or virtue, as you wish. But be
drunk.
And if sometimes, on the steps of a palace or the green grass of
a ditch, in the mournful solitude of your room, you wake again,
drunkenness already diminishing or gone, ask the wind, the wave,
the star, the bird, the clock, everything that is flying, everything
that is groaning, everything that is rolling, everything that is
singing, everything that is speaking. . .ask what time it is and
wind, wave, star, bird, clock will answer you:"It is time to be
drunk! So as not to be the martyred slaves of time, be drunk, be
continually drunk! On wine, on poetry or on virtue as you wish.

Charles Baudelaire

The Tao of the Uncertain Traversing a Mighty Terrain

- A Year in NYC –

The end of my time here in NYC begs the question, what have I learned? Admittedly, there is still much to be processed, yet as I look back at my time there are a few lessons I cannot seem to ignore, try as I might.

This, the Tao of the Uncertain, will be something of a series, rather than a long, rambling entry that you would not have the patience to sit and read, nor I, quite honestly, to sit and write.

.001

Values Don’t Just Sit in a Vase on the Mantle

Why don’t we talk about values more often? Not in a “family values,” conservative ramblings sort of way, but in a more personal, less crap filled way…

“Hi, my name is Melissa, these are the things that I value in life and in myself and in the world....”

We introduce ourselves instead with where we are from, where we went to school, and what our family looks like. Sure, these things can reflect our values, but it’s clear that many times there is a missing link in assumptions people make about other people. (See: racism, classism, sexism etc.) So why can’t we make it easier on each other? Is it that we don’t think about what our values really are? And if so, why not?

Living in community with 6 other people this year made me think about values.

To some of us, fairness of the distribution of chores was valuable. To others, social time together and still others, accountability. To all of us, toilet paper. To me… cleanliness. Now, I am not asking that everything in this nasty ex-convent be spic and span, but I would appreciate it if the trash was taken out when full and dirty dishes not left all over the house indefinitely. When I tried to express this value, some of my community made me feel as though I was uptight for possessing this value, that it was their “right” to leave dishes unwashed in the sink and let the bathroom stink for weeks on end. The thing is, I am not uptight. Actually, I am a pretty laid back person most of the time. It’s not my demeanor or neurosis that cause a desire for a clean living space, it’s the fact that I value the environment in which I exist.

So if I value a clean living space, someone else values conservation of energy and someone else values fairness, would we exhaust our capacity to help others keep the things valuable to them? I don’t think so. I think, instead, we would grow in our own capacity to value. And be reminded that valuing others is the most important value of all.

Hi, I’m Melissa. I value:

A clean living space

Honesty and straightforwardness

My family

Good conversation

Good beer

When the previous three are combined into one

Well rounded people who challenge me

Myself

The ability to have fun, and also be serious

Education

Open-mindedness

Social Justice

Opportunities to experience a culture other than our own

The Astoria Bohemian Beer Garden (is there a trend here?)

Community

And so much more.

What do you value?

Think about it.