And here I am, sitting in front of the computer in the middle of the night, trying to keep myself awake for my overnight shift at the shelter. In all honesty, for the first time this season I’m feeling burnt out. I find myself feeling apathetic about things that happen, which isn’t a great place to be when you are in my line of work. Giving a shit is basically in the job description. But the season started in October…five months ago. I have made it through five months of freezing temperatures, snow and subsequently, a full shelter night after night. I have made it through five months of learning lessons the hard way and seeing people scraping the bottom of the barrel. I think it’s pretty good that I made it 5 months before reaching burn out.
It’s a little strange that just as I can feel the season winding down is when I feel the burn. Finally we are not filling up and having to turn people away anymore. Up until now I couldn’t see the end so I had to just keep on going, blindly, but finally the end is clearly in sight. Don’t get me wrong, I love the job, but let’s be real, it’s exhausting-- and the overnight shifts are just the beginning of it.
As exhausting as it is, I like to think that I have learned a thing or two in my time here so far. There is no doubt in my mind that it has opened my eyes to things I had no understanding of before. I will not claim I understand homelessness, for it is an issue built upon other issues, but I will say that I better understand people. I better understand the human condition and really, what more is life about?
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